I don’t know if you’re anything like me. In fact, we probably have a lot of differences. For instance, I’m a comedian, an actor, an entrepreneur and a chubby vegan who believes that our governments have been in touch with alien species for years, oh yeah and I’m transgender. Like, we’re totally different right?

Well, before you make up your mind about me I also have a family that I love, friends who are incredibly supportive, a dog that I call my child, a constant craving for carbs and I’ve failed at tons of things, like A LOT of things. So, apart from the vegan/alien thing we’re a lot more alike than you originally thought.

Now, let’s talk about failure. I was a “D” student in school. I started and quit everything ranging from sports and businesses to diets and dating apps. I’ve lost jobs. I’ve lost hair…in all the wrong places. I’ve messed up friendships. I’ve crashed cars. I’ve had cars repo’d. I’ve killed plants…every plant I’ve ever owned. I’ve bombed on comedy shows. I’ve bombed auditions. I’ve said all the wrong things in sales meetings. I even spent a night in the West Hollywood jail after a bender that I honestly don’t even remember. The only thing I’ve consistently been good at in life is messing everything up and failing. Yep, that’s me the big old failing failure.

Now, that I’ve disclosed all of that I’ll admit something. I’m so glad I did.

Part of what I do for a living and a passion is teaching standup comedy. The other day one of my students came up to me and said, “I went to an open mic, and I bombed”. In that moment, my face lit up, a smile stretched across my face and I exclaimed excitedly, “AWESOME!” I know you’re thinking “You calloused b@$*!” to which I say “Thank you.” 

Look, failure is inevitable. I’ve become comfortable with it. I mean it’s not amazing all the time, but when you stop and look at it from a different perspective it actually is very punk rock. Here are the reasons to keep failing.

1. You TRIED!

It takes an incredible amount of courage to just get out of bed these days. As humans (I’m only half human but it counts) we are creatures of habit. We like comfort. Trying new things is scary and hard. It’s not in our comfort zone. If you’re not trying, what are you living for? If you try, you’re already ahead of the vast majority of humanoids, well the ones on this planet anyway

2. You learn some things!

I made jewelry in my 20s. I liked it. I fed beads onto wire and twisted them into beautiful little accessories. I lost a lot of money. I mean, people liked my wares and bought some things here and there. I even had some of my line in a fancy store in the Highland Park section of Dallas. What I learned is that it wasn’t challenging enough for me, so I looked elsewhere. 

3. You keep trying!

Yeah, you can give up. You can say “Hey, I’m just going to work in this soul crushing job that I hate, that doesn’t appreciate me and only pays enough to cover rent, fast food and train fare.” That sounds great. You only really fail, when you lay there flailing in your own filth crying. Ahem, I mean, you get your tail off the ground, change your panties and try it again a different way or try something else. You can learn a great deal about yourself during this process. You might just learn that you’re pretty resilient and amazing.

4. You fail up!

Failure is a waste of time if you don’t grow from it. Analyze your experience. What part of that “experiment” worked? What didn’t? Is it even worth your time pursuing this? How many times does Apple release an OS version that just makes you wanna punch kittens? If something doesn’t work, then find the piece that fits in and works? If I tell a joke, and I think it’s good but the audience doesn’t react the way I want them to, I don’t stop telling it. I try it a different way. I inflect differently. I re-word it and if it doesn’t work after telling 20 times, then I’ll throw it out. It’s just a joke (or a crappy OS). Once I know it just isn’t good, then I’ll focus on something else that “KILLS!” (I mean, like, not in a homicidey way).

5. You fail faster!

The more intentional you are the more quickly failure becomes evident. You fail faster. The sooner you fail, the sooner you can rework or pivot. When the time between initiation and failure is shorter, the more time you have to work on the thing that will succeed. I want to have the time of reworking a joke be quicker so that I can throw it out if it just isn’t going to “hit”. As entrepreneurs we want to find out as quickly as possible that something isn’t going to be viable so that we can focus on the next incarnation of that idea or move on to the next thing. This inevitably equates to more clients and more money, honey.

Failure is just a reality. It’s also a gift. When you learn to embrace it, you’ll be able to use it to your advantage. Every comedian bombs, yes even Jerry Seinfeld and Tiffany Haddish. It’s how you approach failure and what you do with it once you’ve failed that makes you an Oprah or makes you a Billy Joe Bob Smith that nobody’s ever heard of who decorates his home with beer can chandeliers and has a wife who wore a camo wedding dress. 

I want you to fail big or go home. If you’re not willing to do what it takes to get through the disappointment then stay in bed. If you want to learn how to be a complete and total punk rock failure then go take a chance. Don’t miss out on incredible success because you’re too scared to try.